||[Apr. 9th, 2009|02:06 pm]
So I've entered the realm of online dating. I decided to give it a try and after the first 2 weeks, I didn't get many people viewing and I certainly didn't get any responses...|
Screw this! I said. What a complete waste! Then a dear friend of mine told me that my profile didn't really give women the oppotunity to know the real.... sexy..... Chris... she was completely right.
I ditched that whole, long sunsets on the beach bullsh-t and decided to write something completely me. I can say, it worked... I've been getting a lot more responses...
Anyway, here's what I wrote in my profile..
Let's take it slow.... but do you prefer diamonds or sapphires on your ring?
I'm nowhere even close to making the salary of a doctor or lawyer and asian males are as in high demand as... beepers. I'm kidding. Anyway, I'm a catch. Think Woody Allen with a dash of suave like Jaleel White =) If you get to know me, you'll find out I'm sarcastic most of the time and I love to laugh. Oh and I swam the English Channel...but only twice.
Anyway... Here's my list of requirements I want in a woman... (i don't think I'm asking for much)
1.) I want a girl who'll cut my steak into iddy bitty pieces and feed me like a mama bird.
2.) Someone who could overlook my guest appearance on NBC's To Catch a Predator.
3.) Can calculate Pi to the 27th decimal
4.) Has 6 fingers on each hand
5.) Knows the lyrics to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" backwards.
6.) Taller than 8 ft.
7.) Can play both parts of Dueling Banjos at the same time.
8.) Can sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
9.) Won a nobel prize
10.) Knows the 30 lives cheat code in Contra.
11.) Is ok with the fact that I only make a 7 figure salary. That's if you include the decimal points.
12.) Dated a Klingon.
13.) Was not on the show Cheaters.
14.) Can tell me the name of the song Jessie Spano kept singing when she was addicted to Speed.
15.) Suffers from Count Chocolitis.
So if you found that amusing, I hope to hear from you or hopefully you can think of other requirements I should add. In all seriousness, I want someone I can have fun joking around with. Someone who gets all the little movie/pop culture references. Hell, if you want, we can just be friends. You can never have enough of those.